Wednesday, 15 June 2011

As it should be

Have you noticed how life is a series of zigzags where eventually everything gets balanced out? How in glorious harmony the opposing forces of life are?

Last night, as we all sat around a table in the kitchen proferring endless counsels to a rather perceptive 7 year old, it was one of those Ah-haa moments when you are on a wave that is riding up.  Today, that same wave came crashing down when a silly conflict spurred tears and general morosity.  Of course it had to happen.  Any energy must be diffused, transformed, converted and re-used.  This fact is writ large in all of creation.

It was evident also today, when I noticed a couple cuddling in a seat on the bus.  A few stops later they got replaced by another couple that clearly having recently had a little tiff, preferred to stare in opposite directions.  Such is the push and pull of life.

The trick, I believe, is to know which wave you are riding. Is it one of those up ones or the down ones?  Sometimes, it may not even be clear whether the wave is pointing up or down or how far up/down you are on it.

But the great tragedy is that most of us, most of the time do not even feel the wave under our feet!  We do not feel the ground moving when we are perfectly still reading our newspapers and sipping a hot coffee!

Where does cancer fit in all this? 

Well, cancer is just a lens.  Just like religion.  Or any dogma.  Depending on how good your eyesight is, it either serves to enhance your vision or confuse your sight some more.  It brings certain things in sharp focus while blurring others.  It decides what you need to see better and what you should not see clearly.

With cancer, things change while they stay the same.  For me, it is mostly the small things that have changed. On many levels I am the same. I am still a twit (a blonde for my French friends).  I still believe in fairy tales or the power of chocolate or the absolute magic of children.

The difference lies elsewhere.  With cancer, I take in whatever wave I am on. I offer no resistance.  I yield to it, willingly, sometimes amusingly. 

The lens of cancer has exposed the undulating waves.  There is no mystery anymore.  Let the moment morph.  It is all in the bigger scheme of things.  As it should be.

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