Tan's sister is getting married this weekend. Defining moment for the bride, groom and their families, but also for me!
I will remember this wedding as the one I attended while on cancer treatment.
A long time ago, I read on someone's blog a beautiful post on how you sometimes take your heartache/sorrow travelling just to see how the heartache/sorrow would "behave" next to old monuments, landmarks and other touristy sights and activities.
If I remember correctly, the post concluded with the realisation that wherever you go, whatever you do, you've somehow carried your heartache/sorrow with you all the way, a bit like that old baby blanket that you find yourself holding on to, even though you may be an adult with your own kids and cats.
I think somewhere deep down I was curious to know how I would react to going to a wedding with cancer.
I can tell you it went just fine. Sure enough, my cancer kept me company but in a very docile way. It let me enjoy the atmosphere, the people, the food, the conversations, the happiness all around.
When I crashed for a nap in the afternoon, it was with a sense of satisfaction that I closed my eyes.
I may have an artificial bun made out of fabric and no hair, I may wear heels and makeup that adequately mask the pain of a bad headache or fatigue, I may smile broadly to show you that your caring words and concern have touched my heart, but through it all, I am deeply content that I made it.
I made it to the wedding. To living a life as normal as humanly possible. And for that, I say Alhamdulillah.