Saturday, 9 July 2011

Wilted Flower?

I feel like a wilted flower...or should I say wilted creature?  Because frankly I don't feel like a flower at all.    I have not felt remotely pretty in a long time now.  But I do feel wilted.  It is this flu.

I spent last night with such short breaths that today saw me consulting a lung specialist instead of enjoying the sunshine and landscapes of this little piece of paradise called Mauritius.

Now, there is nothing more reassuring than a doctor who is more worried about me than I myself am! He frowned a lot, peeked and poked at me a lot and sent me rushing for a chest Xray immediately.  Alhamdulillah the Xray was clear, but he thought long and hard before prescribing me some heavy antibiotics and 3 other little capsules which I am simply not bothering to know what they are supposed to do for my lungs. 

So all in all, we are thinking this is just a nasty flu, and nothing related to the cancer.  Incidentally, it struck me today that henceforth, any little big thing that my body does or does not do may or may not be related to cancer! That somewhere there may be a connection line between little manifestations here and there and Ca.  But I am trying not to think about it much. I am quite frankly tired of diseases/illness.   True enough, for the next 5 days I shall have to fight back the urge of vomitting at the sight of pills, but I have a good collection of happy thoughts to turn to for such times.  Alhamdulillah. 

It's all in the mind people.  It's all in the mind.  I have learnt to trick my thoughts.  To shift them, block them, replace them.   It is the law of substitution. It helps tremendously.

So tonight, it is loud pumping music in my earphones.  To drown out the other soulful sounds.  To get the wilted creature to perk up a bit :)

4 comments:

  1. In case you haven't heard it already I recommend coke studio! Some awesome songs in there! :)

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  2. Ps: Let me know what you want from here, I'll ship it over! :)

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  3. Xeb, Coke Studio rocks!!! Their tracks are on my phone already..thanks :)

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  4. Such an inspiration you are! :)

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