Is there an expression "laughing like a mad cow"? If there is, I qualified for it today. And if there isn't, I hereby proclaim that I laughed like a mad cow today.
In fact the past few days have seen me laughing like a mad cow (Alhamdulillah). I really don't know why. And let me tell you, it feels good.
Earlier in the day, my boss remarked that I looked good and that he had more of a drawn face than I did. It's not only him that noticed that. I did to.
Nowadays when I look at myself in the mirror, I see a person with reasonably good skin, eyes a bit dreamy, hair a mess and greying rapidly (but still there!), and wrinkles in the usual places. I don't see the stress lines between my brows or the hollow cheeks that I once had.
I may feel tired, heavy, bloated, brainless, etc, but somehow I am not stressed. Alhamdulillah. The past few days I have bothered neither about my past not fretted over my future nor lamented over my present situation.
The result is I breeze through the minutes and hours by simply...being. As if I am on cruise control.
Mrs G Donat (may her soul rest in peace), my English teacher, once told us (then impressionable 16 yr olds) that there comes a time in a person's life when one can admit to the mistakes one made in the past and apologise for them. This phase usually comes late in life, when one stops caring about what others would think or say. More importantly, one is able to talk about the mistakes openly and even laugh about them.
Needless to say, her wise words fell on deaf ears then..but now, they ring so true.
I can now laugh at myself, have others laugh at me (and laugh along with them, loudly and heartily) and laugh at others too...why? simply because I know in my bones now that this life is magical, mystical, mythical. What's an ego next to that? Nothing.
So you'll excuse me if I suddenly crack up in an important meeting or start laughing in the middle of anything. I need to laugh like a mad cow. I have so many years to catch up on!